Hipster heaven

Author's note: Originally published under the title "Culture shock." Republished to this blog on February 10, 2018.

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They are everywhere. Beards. Man buns. "Sometime Samurai" hairstyles. Believing scooters and skateboards are viable means of transportation. Making ironic wardrobe choices that are still somehow au courant and stylish.

Welcome to Toronto. Hipster paradise.

If I were more invasive and more of a jerk, I'd take photos of these hipsters in their (un)natural element. And I may do so yet.

But suffice it to say, they are legion, they walk among us, and they're not going anywhere until they uncover the next trend, they turn 35 and really need to get serious about gainful employment, or they're all mowed down on the street (by accident) for riding their skateboards and scooters in traffic.

(Trust me. I've seen it happen.)

My most recent favorite hipster sighting was on the number 1 TTC subway (sorry, I don't know the names of the lines just yet) between Museum and Union Station, seen maybe this past Thursday or Friday. He was a very handsome guy--underneath all the hair and the consciously grungy clothing, that is. A dark lumberjack beard, close-cropped hair on the side with a shock of a dark 'do that he was meticulous about keeping in place, swept up and over to the right side.

I saw him breathe in, his strong chest swell underneath his t-shirt, revealing a hint of fur. Be still my heart (and everything else), I thought.

But then I thought, too, can you imagine kissing that? Making love to that? All that beard and all that hair. That's what the entire encounter would be about: Passion and pompadours. He'd no doubt be too narcissistic to make sex enjoyable for anyone but himself.

Maybe 20 years ago but more likely 30 years ago, I would have gone head over heels, especially if I thought there was the slightest glimmer of interest from him--although I am sure it would have gone nowhere, the thrill of the chase being his turn-on and my turn-off, leaving me lonelier and sick in my gut.

Thank goodness I've moved on and matured in many, many ways. Toronto makes me realize that in a good way. I like it here--in spite/because of the hipsters and because/in spite of who I am now.

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Editor's note: You can also view a version of this with sound via YouTube: